Married at last
By Alex Cantatore
Staff Reporter
MODESTO - The city was cool and quiet as the sun came up yesterday morning. The birds were singing. All in all, it was a day almost indistinguishable from the myriad days before it.
That is, of course, until Cynthia Soto, 48, and Beth Holden, 27, strolled up to the Stanislaus County Clerk-Registrar’s office at 6 a.m. Despite the fact that the office wouldn’t open until 8 a.m., the duo didn’t mind waiting outside.
After all, the lesbian couple had been waiting to be married for three years. What were a few more hours?
Over the next two hours, a line of eight gay and lesbian couples formed on the doorsteps of the Clerk-Recorder’s office as lovebirds-young and old alike-excitedly waited to become among the first same-sex couples to be licensed for marriage in California.
When the California Supreme Court struck down the prohibition of same-sex marriage as unconstitutional just over a month ago, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people around the state rejoiced and began to plan their marriages, now an option for the first time.
But for many of those waiting to obtain a marriage license in Stanislaus County, however, Soto and Holden included, it wasn’t just a court decision a month ago that led to the decision to marry.
Every Valentine’s Day for the past three years, Soto and Holden have visited the Clerk-Recorder’s office. And every year, they have been turned away.
So when it was announced that Stanislaus County would begin distributing same-sex marriage certificates on June 17, their action was natural. The couple planned to marry.
When the clock struck 8 a.m. and the Clerk-Recorder’s doors opened, Soto and Holden were first in line among the many exhilarated couples and onlookers.
“Do you want to be party A or party B?” asked one of those in line to her future wife, noting the lack of the traditional “Husband” and “Wife” blanks on the marriage license. A gay couple recalled spending more than 19 years living together, waiting for the day they could wed.
Around 8:15 a.m. when Soto and Holden raised their right hands and were handed their license, the first same-sex marriage license in Stanislaus County, the entire Clerk-Recorder’s office burst into applause.
“This is too cool,” said Soto, moved to an impromptu speech. “It’s taken three years and lots of rallies to get here. I want to thank everyone for their love, support, and commitment.”
Somewhat surprisingly, all of those in and around the Clerk-Recorder’s office seemed supportive of the repeal of the gay marriage ban. Despite large protests in Sacramento and in other municipalities around the state, the only signs visible in Modesto were in favor of same-sex marriage.
Holden, a Turlock native, had brought her sister and father along to watch her receive the first same-sex marriage license in the county. Both dad, a 1970 Turlock High grad, and sister were proud to see Holden finally receive her chance to marry, a right she had battled to gain for years through volunteer work for Marriage Equality USA, a same-sex marriage education and advocacy group.
“Mom would be here too, but she’s at home sleeping with the cake,” said Holden. “She didn’t get started baking until late last night.”
Holden and Soto could have avoided the wait. Some counties, including San Francisco, began distributing marriage licenses last evening.
But for the duo, it was worth waiting to be married among friends, family, and neighbors.
“It’s very significant that we got the first license in Stanislaus County,” Soto said. “This is where we live. Marriage is an institution, and it’s important for the community and for us to have it here.”
Of course, the two are well aware of the proposed Nov. 4 ballot measure that would constitutionally outlaw same-sex marriages. Almost as soon as she had received her marriage license, Holden began passing around a signup sheet to organize voters against the measure.
Due to the outpouring of support that Soto and Holden have received, the two remain optimistic that the initiative will not pass.
There was no time to dwell on such issues, however, as the newly licensed couple had a marriage to attend. At 12:30 p.m., the two were to be wed in one of the first same-sex marriage ceremonies to take place in the county.
The College Avenue Congregational United Church of Christ, founded in 1948 on the corner of Orangeburg and College in a former grape field, was considered a progressive church even back in its early days.
“It’s a great church, very friendly and accepting,” said Reverend Michael Shiefelbein, Pastor of CACUCC. “Some of our founding members are still here.”
Open and affirming are the watchwords of CACUCC. Regardless of sexual orientation, parishioners are celebrated in every aspect of life.
CACUCC even offers a program for teens that are questioning their sexual orientation and finding they don’t fit in. Between 35 and 50 high schoolers are members of the group, which is unique to Stanislaus County.
“We had one who heard about the program and wanted to come so badly that he rode his bike all the way from Ceres,” said Reverend Shiefelbein. “We found him a ride home.”
But, despite the wide range of services offered, CACUCC had never been able to offer marriage to same-sex couples until yesterday when “You and I” by Stevie Wonder hit the air and Soto and Holden walked down the aisle together.
The couple first met at a benefit talent show for an organization known as Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, or PFLAG. Both Soto and Holden are musicians, and both were roped into performing by friends.
Holden played Enya on the piano, while Soto sang and played guitar. The two hit it off, and when Soto offered to give Holden a lift home after the show, serendipity struck.
“So I asked her, ‘Where do you live?’” recalled Soto. “And she said, ‘Near Memorial Hospital.’ So I said, ‘Hey, I do too.’”
As luck would have it, the duo lived in the same apartment complex, just a few doors down from one another.
But despite their serene meeting, things were frantic around the church in the moments before the casual wedding was to take place.
“I don’t know where my bride is… My other bride,” said Soto to guests as she shook hands.
Just before starting the walk down the aisle, the brides were forced to ditch their flowers as Soto was having an asthma attack.
But once the ceremony started, things went off without a hitch, save for a slight bobble that sent the wedding rings crashing to the floor.
But before exchanging those rings, as a surprise for Holden, Soto sang a song she had written that expressed the many emotions and trials the couple had gone through to reach that moment.
“Beth, you’re the one whom my soul loves,” sang Soto, recalling the musical moment when the couple met.
“I started to cry,” Holden said afterwards. “I tried not to, but it was hopeless”
With rings and vows exchanged, the ceremony was completed.
“I present to you Beth and Cynthia. Wives, and partners in life,” said Reverend Shiefelbein.
And the couple embraced, married at last.
“We did it!” shouted Soto, as wife and wife walked back down the aisle to a small reception of cake and coffee, and to start their new life as a married couple.
“For a lot of people, it’s about an issue,” said Reverend Shiefelbein. “But for some of the people here it’s about life. It’s about their lives.”
To contact Alex Cantatore, e-mail acantatore@turlockjournal.com or call 634-9141 ext. 2005.
Originally published in the Turlock Journal 6/17/2008.
Retrieved from the Turlock Journal Web site.